The dying process can be a time of intense emotion, transformation and healing. It is a unique time with no "do overs". I support clients to prepare them for an intentional and heartfelt journey towards the end that is infused with as much beauty and meaning as possible. I do this by companioning clients on their path, using the wisdom I've gathered from serving others through this process.
Why did I become an End of Life Doula?
I became interested in preparing and guiding others through the dying process following the death of my father in the Spring of 2012. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April and died at home a month later. He was surrounded by family and friends who cared for him and we had hospice services available. However, none of us were adequately prepared. That month was a chaotic and tumultuous time that in hindsight could have gone more smoothly had we had the presence of a calm and wise End of Life Doula to help us leverage the excellent but limited time that hospice had available for us.
What Services Do I Offer?
Attend Doctor Visits
- I prepare clients and accompany them to doctor visits. I document the visits for later reflection/review or to share with family.
Locate and Leverage Hospice Services
- I help clients to find an appropriate hospice to match their needs.
- I companion clients when caregivers need a break.
- I work with the client to create a peaceful, beautiful, and calm physical space to honor their final right of passage.
Leverage Technology for Client's Benefit
- I introduce clients to a web based tool to update friends and family outside the caregiving circle about the client’s status and needs or preferences regarding visits.
- I video record client’s end of life wishes to document how they want it to go.
- I connect clients with distant friends and family using video conferencing technology.
- I introduce clients to meditation tools to reduce anxiety.
Education/Guidance/Coaching
- I educate and guide clients about their legal rights (enacting the End of Life Option Act) to hasten their own death to avoid prolonged suffering.
- I guide caregivers who choose to provide after death care of their loved one’s body at home rather than outsourcing this service to a mortuary.
- I educate clients about their legal rights to care for their loved one to honor them, to promote healing, and to minimize unnecessary funeral expenses.
- I educate clients on earth friendly disposition options including green burials, water cremation and natural organic reduction or human composting.
This is not the complete list of services that I offer, but it gives potential clients a better understanding of the types of services I offer as an End of Life Doula.
As someone who has been with those when they are dying, I know how isolating and alone one can feel during the dying process. Often they don’t want to burden their loved ones with their heavy feelings and emotions. I am an objective outsider who offers help to ease these burdens.
How Much Does it Cost?
While there are doulas in the San Francisco Bay Area who charge between $25 to $150 per hour, I offer my services for free for those who simply cannot afford it or on a "Pay It Forward" donation basis. If you benefited from my services and wish to donate funds to help support my future clients, you may do so but it is not required. Please call or email me to see if you think we would be a good fit and to check my availability. If I’m not able to serve you, I will try to help you find services of another End of Life Doula in my network.
Doesn't Hospice Offer these Services?
Palliative Care and Hospice offer valuable resources to people with life limiting illness. I prefer not to work with clients unless hospice is also involved. Some of my clients are already on hospice or I can help them to find a hospice aligned with their needs and values especially if they are interested in enacting their legal rights associated with the End of Life Option Act.
Clients should keep in mind that hospice staff time is limited. While they are usually a phone call away, they are not able to be with clients more than a few hours a week because they serve more than one client at a time. So, caregivers are on their own to provide that 24/7 support to loved ones when they are dying. Through the non-medical services that I offer, I can help to bridge the gap to leverage the resources of hospice and to ease the burden of caregivers and to provide those who are dying with a more peaceful, calm, and beautiful ending.
Trina Wacasey, Ph.D.